Working Your Budget To The Max

Of all of the things that go into creating a wedding

Of all of the things that go into creating a wedding, the most frustrating thing is not deciding how much money to spend, but probably how to spend the money you have. Many times when you talk to people about planning your wedding, they will give you their horror stories. Wishing they had done this or now regretting that they did not do this or that. You hear from your friends after they were guests at Cousin Gertrude’s wedding the “I couldn’t believe” critiques. When you sit down and listen, they all most likely have a single common denominator behind them. It is not a matter of taste but of not being able to work an aggressive budget.

Now to the Grooms-To-Be, while your Bride-To-Be is the centerpiece of the day, it is your wedding also. Many of us men would just like to say “aw shucks, babe why don’t we just go down to the court house and save the money for a new bass boat?” Just remember, how would you feel if on your wedding night she said, “aw shucks honey. Why don’t we just go to sleep and save our energy for shopping tomorrow?” Do I have the guy’s attention now? The marriage will take both of you, so should the planning of the wedding. Granted, my wife was more of the Let Me Take Care Of It person once the core plans were made. However, she did so with the confidence of knowing what she was doing was what we both wanted and enjoyed it. 

When my wife and I were engaged the first thing we did to prepare for the wedding day was to review our finances and see what we could afford. We worked together in the saving and core planning of “The Day”. We looked at the savings we had, decided on how much to put away from then until the wedding day, factored in any cash gifts parents would be giving us, and set what we believed to be a reasonable amount to spend. This (girls get your guys to read this) was rewarding in two ways, first, it set the bedrock of working together within our relationship, and second it helped in creating a virtual stress free preparation of the wedding, We started out with the end in mind, we knew what we wanted and how we were going to get there. It also gave Lisa an easy out when others tried to plan the wedding they wanted. She would just say, “Sorry, that isn’t what Dan and I have discussed…” It was an easy way to prevent unneeded pressure, and to end any arguments quickly before feelings got hurt. 

Once we had a figure agreed upon, we then had to decide how we were going to spend it. We first needed a base line to work from. So we found a Wedding Budget Calculator such as the one found here at www.hrweddingplanner.com, and entered that figure. Now here is where I believe that many women get disheartened, and couples go broke pre- I Do-s. Remember this is a starting point, it isn’t mandatory that you spend as it reports. Since we used it as a starting point, we had to figure out what was important to us, set priorities, and figure what we already had at our disposal. Setting priorities was one of the largest factors in setting up our wedding day. First, the number one priority was why we were getting married, the second was celebrating that reason with family and friends, and the third was remembering the day and being able to share it with the generation to come. Once we had this “base” down, we looked at he budget to see what conformed to our priorities, and what didn’t. We then set them up from most important, to least important. We took the money for items we didn’t want and the money from what we already had, (the rings for instance) and put that money into the “Upgrade Fund” the surprising thing is, that we found out that over 1/3 of the base line budget could be put into this fund. This fund will prevent you from settling for what you can afford to what you need and desire. It will give you the freedom of shopping for service, as opposed to price. After all, you do get what you pay for. Now while I won’t go through all the decisions we made, I will go through enough that you can see how we planned and worked our budget.

The ceremony was easy, with both my wife and I devout Christians, we decided to get married at my church. I didn’t know how to take it, but the ladies of the church were delighted and more than happy to assist Lisa with the set up of the wedding service. Our plan for the ceremony was to keep it simple, elegant and intimate, well, as intimate as you can get with 150 people. We found assets with both family and friends. My father-in-law is an amazing guitarist and Lisa had a friend who sings beautifully. Of course, we auditioned them, and as a wedding gift they performed at the ceremony. When Lisa’s father played and her friend sang, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place. Even my 6 foot 1 inch, 250 pound best man cried. One of our guest remarked to us that the last wedding they attended before ours was more of a production, and said that she felt if she was just an onlooker. This after the Bride and Groom had spent big money on live musicians, large ice sculptures, and even doves for their ceremony. Our guest remarked that with family and friends involved in the ceremony, it made them feel as if they were a participant of the intimate bond that was occurring at the alter. 

One thing about the ceremony, and the rest of the day for that fact, was that we wanted to have a lasting remembrance of our wedding day. Therefore, the next thing we put as a priority (since this effects almost everything about the day) was a photographer. I do not think that many people give importance of having a great photographer that it deserves, until long after the ceremony. This is where the fund helped us. The average wedding photographer may cost $500-$900. With that price range, we found out that we would get average service and average pictures. It was cookie cutter service; “you will get limited number of images, and limited time of coverage. Since this wasn’t an average day, we decided that it was more than worth it to take from the Upgrade Fund and invest in a top photographer and their studio. Lisa really enjoyed this part, shopping for what she wanted, not just what she could afford. We both feel it was a worthy bargain, and do not regret for a moment that we spent three times the local average. If you talk to many brides and ask them if they are happy with their wedding photos, the responses will probably break your heart. After all how many past brides do you know have recommended not using the photographer they used? By working out a budget and rearranging things to our priorities, we did not have to shop by price. As I said earlier, I do not think that many couples do not give much thought to the photographer, until the days afterwards. Then, like the couple above, wish they had and hired a photographer that had truly captured the essence of the day on film for them. 

By keeping in mind what our goals and priorities for the day, it helped us from going overboard in certain areas and wasting money and being able to improve the service in other areas. We found we did not have to be a slave to the bankbook, get too far indebt, or settle for mediocre service. The day went better than we ever thought it exceeded our expectations. By working our priorities and using discipline in our budgeting process, we were able to improve not only our photographer, but also the reception, had extra money for the honeymoon, and even upgraded the limousine we used. We were able to get e limo so long it took up two different zip codes! The success of the day was based on the simple rules we used in the beginning. First off set an appropriate spending limit. Second, use a budget calculator to set a rough base-line spending formula. Third, set priorities of what is important to both of you. Fourth, see what assets you have that will free up money in your budget. Fifth, spend according to your priorities. Do not be afraid to pay extra in an area for extra service if it is a high importance to you. Last, and most important, Work Together in the planning of your wedding. Support each other to stay with in the limits you both have set and agreed upon. Best of luck to you both, and never forget how you both got to this point!